Ad Infinitum

Definitely

2009-06-18T06:16:00.000-07:00

A few hours into the night and I find myself unsuccessfully vying for time as I struggle to do three papers in one night. I find myself, yet again, in this routine I helplessly fall into every time I try to work. These unwelcome breaks are when I find myself so immersed in thoughts unrelated to my work and I find myself obliged to write them down. Funny that I can never seem to string together coherent sentences when it matters.

What really matters though? Is it the satisfaction of a job well done? Handing in three pages worth of outlines just in time to make the cut? Is it the wisdom of knowing that even after all of this, there are greater and bigger things to come? Is it the fact that working on something you are passionate about becomes its own reward? Or is it simply that warm fuzzy feeling you get after guzzling down a glass of beer after a hard days work?

Or, you could be me, sitting alone on the balcony floor at deep into the night welcoming an unwelcome break because this is when I know, I feel, that my soul is poured out onto this blank sheet-- because for me, this all of those above mentioned. This is exactly that.

“Exactly what?”, you say. That. This is it for me, at this moment I exist.

Hanging by a moment here with you.

2009-06-11T12:59:00.000-07:00

What is more important? Assurance or the now?

I choose to hold on to, desperately, to what I can get now, after all, I find that there is no such thing as assurance.

Candied Dreams

2009-06-11T09:38:00.000-07:00

When I was little I dreamed of becoming a doctor, a ballerina, a pianist, and countless of other random things. I always figured that I had the time to be whatever it is I wanted to be. Fast forward to the future and I still have no idea where I'm going.

Find something you love doing, they say.

I have decided to start writing again. Let's see what this all leads to.